Spotting a Tiny Green Lizard:What My Daughter Taught Me About Screen Time and the Teenage Brain

In October, I had a wonderful trip south with my daughter, who’s in her first year of university. It was so much fun to spend time together over her fall reading week.

She loves her Psychology and Neuroscience courses, and I’ll admit, it feels pretty special that she shares my fascination with mental health and how our brains work.​Lately, I’ve noticed how what she’s learning in class is shaping some of her habits and reinforcing some great decisions. There’s something about hearing the science from a professor (instead of a parent!) that just impacts teens differently.​Now that she understands dopamine and its power, in particular for teens and young adult brains, she’s intentionally trying to spend less time scrolling.

She has learned more about how exercise affects hormones like cortisol and endorphins, which has motivated her to keep walking and running, even without the structure of her high school cross-country team.

Most recently, she did an assignment all about sleep, including keeping a sleep and dream log. With a more in depth scientific understanding about how better quality sleep impacts attention and mood, I can see her working on adjusting aspects of her sleep routine.​

The Green Lizard Moment

So, what does this have to do with spotting a tiny green lizard?

On our trip, she made a decision to be more present and minimize screen time. She was looking for an opportunity to shift habits and give her brain a detox. So, she often left her phone in our room when we went out to eat or hit the beach. She spent hours reading, swimming, and chatting.​The result? She was so present. She noticed details I completely missed: the local cat hiding under a chair, the beauty of the flowers, and a tiny lizard camouflaged on a plant.When we saw this adorable little green creature, she quickly borrowed my phone (since hers was in the hotel room!) to snap the photo you see above.​It left me thinking about how knowledge really is power.

Helping Teens Understand Their Brains

So many teens don’t realize how screen time, especially short-form videos on TikTok or YouTube Shorts, shapes their focus, emotions, and even their ability to feel joy. Many parents are still trying to figure this out themselves.​Parents often tell me they feel stuck: sometimes resorting to threats (“That’s it, no phone!”) or avoiding the issue altogether because it feels hopeless.​But what if parents, therapists, and educators focused on sharing the science, in a non-judgmental way, to spark curiosity and understanding?​Recently, I’ve been experimenting with this approach in therapy sessions. Teens are surprisingly open when I introduce some interesting facts.

"Hey, did you know that when you view a "get ready with me" video, your algorithm is going to start to flood you with beauty related videos, diet information, and lots of ads for products like Sephora? I wonder how that affects body image/ self-image for girls your age?"

"Have you learned about dopamine? It's a neurotransmitter in your brain. It is almost like a reward button that gets pushed when we do certain things. If you score a goal in soccer - you get a big release of dopamine and it feels great! Even finishing an assignment for school, or a great talk with a friend can give us that feeling. The problem for some teens with scrolling social media or playing video games, is that they get such huge amounts of dopamine, that everything else starts to seem so boring, or so hard. It really affects motivation. That's a really tricky situation for lots of people once they get in that cycle."

What is key for these conversations?

• A non-judgemental, curious tone

• Focus on facts and new information

• Speak about the issue not as personal to that child or teen, but something that affects all of us.

• Acknowledgement of the tech itself (ex: the increasing addictiveness of algorithms) as being to blame, rather than the person being completely to blame.

A Movement Toward Tech-Healthy Families

Over the past two years, I’ve spoken with school parent councils and community groups about this topic. Together, we explore creative ways to protect youth mental health from the harms of excessive screen time—through shared guidelines, delayed phone and social media use, and a return to play-based childhoods.​When families act together, change becomes possible, and communities grow stronger.​ If you’re part of a school or community group interested in this topic, I’d love to collaborate with you. My focus when presenting is to give parents knowledge and actionable strategies to make changes at home to protect and support their children, in the face of this challenge.

For any parents who are interested in delaying cell phone and social media use for their child, I highly recommend the following organizations for their community-based approach to creating collective action among parents, so children never feel left out or alone when parents delay giving them a phone.

Last week, I attended a talk hosted by the Ottawa chapter of Unplugged Canada. It was amazing to hear the determination among parents to create change. Check this organization out if you want to build collective action in your school community. https://unpluggedcanada.com/