Coping with yourTeens Emotions

Why your teen’s big feelings aren’t a sign of failure — they’re a call for connection.

Parenting a teen can feel like walking through an emotional storm. One moment you’re laughing together, the next there are slammed doors or tears you didn’t see coming.You want to help, but nothing seems to work. Suddenly, you’re both feeling hurt and disconnected.

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

💭 What Teens Tell Me

In my therapy sessions with teens, I often hear things like:

“I cry alone because I think others will see my tears as a sign of weakness.”“I feel really guilty after I yell at my parents — they think I’m so rude, but I just get so upset and it all comes out wrong.”

Many teens hide their emotions because they sense their parents’ worry or frustration when things get intense. They don’t want to add to that stress, so they retreat. Sometimes, that tendency to suppress emotion can lead to more anxiety, or feelings of depression.

For some teens, holding in the emotions leads to overwhelm and then it comes out in a more explosive way.

They see how their irritability is often taken as disrespect and they feel even worse, stuck in guilt or shame.

From the other side, parents share their own fears:

“When my teen cries or lashes out, I feel panicked.”“I just want to fix it, or make it stop.”

It’s such a painful cycle — both sides longing for connection, but emotions getting in the way.

🧠 Understanding Teen Emotions

Adolescence is a time of massive emotional growth.The teenage brain is still wiring and developing — especially the parts that manage impulse control, empathy, and emotional regulation. These changes continue into the mid-twenties, which means teens feel everything more intensely.

What can look like overreaction is often the brain’s way of learning to ride the waves of big emotions.

Our role as parents is to be the steady presence that says:

“Hey — all your feelings are okay. I’m here, and I want to understand.”

These types of messages build emotional safety and, over time, help your teen grow their own resilience.

💡 Why Parents Struggle

When your teen shows anger, anxiety, or sadness, it can trigger your own fears:​What if something’s really wrong?​​Did I cause this?​​Why can’t I fix it?

Many parents also share with me how confusing it feels to try and parent their teen in a way that is different from how they themselves were parented. If you grew up in a home environment in which feelings were not discussed, it can be hard to know the right balance when it comes to allowing for emotion, but also holding boundaries with your teen's reactions and behaviour.

This constant learning (and "unlearning"!) that parents undergo when trying to support their teen with emotions got me thinking about common myths I hear in my therapy sessions - from both teens and parents!

🔍 Three Myths About Teens and Feelings:

Myth 1: Intense emotions are immature.​Big feelings are part of healthy development. We all feel deeply at times, and for teens, tears or frustration are signs of growth, not regression.

Myth 2: Anger equals disrespect.​Anger often masks more vulnerable emotions: hurt, fear, embarrassment. It’s not defiance; it’s distress. When we see it that way, we can respond with empathy and support.

Myth 3: Feelings need to be fixed.​Feelings don’t need fixing — they need witnessing.Teens crave presence more than advice. Sitting with them in their discomfort and actively listening and showing compassion, without offering advice, is what teens want the most from parents 90% of the time.

🌱 The Power of Emotion Coaching

Emotion coaching is a simple, evidence-based way to help your teen regulate their emotions while helping you stay grounded, too.It’s about slowing down, listening, and seeing emotions as opportunities for connection — not problems to solve.

When parents approach emotions this way, trust deepens, conflict softens, and teens start to regulate themselves more often.​

✨ Imagine This

Imagine being able to stay calm when your teen’s emotions get big, knowing what to say (and what not to say) and watching them open up instead of shutting down.

That’s exactly what we’ll practice together in my upcoming Emotion Coaching Workshop for Parents of Teens.

💬 Join the Emotion Coaching Workshop for Parents of Teens

If you’re nodding along as you read this, if you’ve felt that mix of love, worry, and helplessness — this workshop is for you.

We’ll explore:

✅ How to understand your own reactions when your teen’s emotions get intense.

✅ The neuroscience behind emotions and connection.

✅ How to respond in ways that actually help your teen feel safe and understood.

✅ A clear 3-step formula for emotion coaching.

Learn More!